Interested in your thoughts….
This morning I received an email from a woman asking me to update a blog post from January. The woman, Lisa Giassa, had been quoted in an MSNBC article on Mommy vs. Non-Mommy relationships and let’s just say I disagreed with (was offended by) her stance.
Here is the email she sent me this morning:
Hi Shannan, I googled myslef as I often do and came across your blog site where you posted an article I was quoted in on MSN http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16491375 Anyway I wanted to drop you a note after reading how my comments hit a sore spot with you and provide an update given the article is about a year and a half old.
In the article I mentioend that I realized that I grew apart from the women I labeled as “the mommy mafia” and decided to find new friends. Interestingly I found a new crew of friends who are married with kids, others are single, others are paired up but one person has kids from a previous marriage so they decided not to marry nor to have kids (the woman decided this). Anyway the bottom line is that I dumped a group of people who were not of like mind. The friends I once had became the kind of parents and the kind of women who jusge others for doing what they so very much want to do (have a social life beyond their kids). They opt to arrange playdates and everything they do and are is about their husbands and the kids but from what I see most are in therapy on meds or self medicating with mid day martinis and white wine sangria by the pool.
At the end of the day I realized the issue isn’t that they are mommies the issue is that they aren’t the kind of people I have anything in common with anymore. So fast forward a year and a half and now I have found the friends who look forward to getting a sitter so they can come out and party. The mom’s might not make it out every weekend but they so make it out from time to time and we have an absolute blast. They flirt, they have fun, joke and don’t carry themselves as these uptight Bree Vanderkamp types. They believe it’s good for their kids to see mommy get all pretty to have fun with her friends. It shows the kids, (as my very close friend puts it) that mom has a life in addition to them. Her 3 year old isn’t at all clingy, tells her what top looks prettier and say’s ‘bye ma have fun love ya.”
This May we have a couples trip planned to Mexico and last year we all went to the Dominican Republic –an adults only resort and why– because these people value my friendship because it provides them an escape and an opportunity to be seen as people not only as parents. So I applaud all of the mommies like you seem to be miss Shannan. The cool ones who want to go out and have fun. The ones who don’t need a month of therapy because some guy flirted with you at a lounge one night. There are plenty of moms out there who can be amazing terrific moms without losing their identity… and if part of their identity is throwing back a few cocktails on a Saturday night with their friends so long as they are ladies and not sloppy lushes then by all means have your fun!!!
I truly hope you consider updating your blog because I think there are certianly two kinds of moms one I could totally hang with and the other I want to smack in the head.
Cheers!Lisa Giassa
I did not respond to Ms. Giassa right away and before I could, she posted a comment to the January post, here, which is fine with me. Apparently she is making the blog rounds today as she has left the same comment on other blogs that discussed the article as well.
I have to say that I am not sure what to think of this whole mess. Why would I update a blog post from January? Why would her having a change of heart, have anything to do with my reaction to what she said in the article? Part of me thinks she should be more careful when speaking with reporters, especially because it is not the first time she has said things in interviews that I, as a mother, find offensive. I understand that she doesn’t want negative feelings associated with her name, but man, Google her.
What do you guys think? What would you do, if anything.
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Oh my goodness, I think you have no further responsibility to this woman. She said something, you cited it, and reacted on YOUR blog.
If she doesn’t like it then, tough.
As you said, she should be more careful what she says if she’s going get THAT bent out of shape about how it is interpreted.
Oh no, am I going to get a whiny e-mail too?
I agree with all of the above. But I think you should just randomly work her name into your blog every few weeks (even if it doesn’t Lisa Giassa exactly fit the content), just so she freaks out when she’s Googling herself.
Maybe she just doesn’t get the concept of blogs or something. Annoying!
You’ve done your part right now by posting her email to you. Lisa Giassa apparently forgot from junior high and high school that there are people who are compatible and those that aren’t. She’s still insulting the moms who have decided to put their life on hold. As some of us often say, can we women stop bashing each other?
Wow, I would let sleeping dogs lie. That post should not be changed. I personally found her email insulting, even if she doesn’t mean to be. I agree, perhaps she should think before she speaks if she really cares about other people’s opinions of her.
I would not change the post, but I feel like I know what she is trying to say, she just doesn’t know when to stop talking. It would have been better for her to just say something like…” I realized it wasn’t because they were moms, but that we had just grown apart”…and then stop. But she kept going and then insulted moms – all varieties of us – even more.
Do not change or rebuttal your post.
She made a statement, and that is fine. She should stand by her statements in the article. It seems that she was pretty straight forward in what she said and it looks like it would be hard to misinterpret her.
I find it VERY weak of her that she is trying to make sure you don’t misunderstand her, and to make sure that you like her. Very insecure.
She just doesn’t get some of her friends who have kids, and that is fine. Then don’t be friends with them. Seriously. She needs to get a grip.
Really.
WEAK.
If Miss Lisa didn’t want to be quoted, cited, or have someone print or blog an opinion about her statements she shouldn’t have put her thoughts out there in the public forum. Hello. . .what did she think would happen? Ignore her. Leave your post as is. She obviously got a lot of grief off it and is feeling the heat. Let her feel it. Maybe she’ll make better choices about the public comments next time.
Whoa. That left me a bit angry. She says mid day martinis like they are a bad thing. No, no, just kidding.
You know anything you write will not change her mind. She has some preconceived notions of her 2 types of mommies, and I doubt she’ll suddenly have a change of heart.
I actually have a single friend like her. I can’t wait until she has kids!
Wow! I agree with everyone else…
I’d not do anything. She’s made her position PERFECTLY clear in the interview, the email and her comment.
I’d just let it be.
And for the record… I find it insulting as well.
I’d just leave it be.
I would just let it lie and not update your blog. She spoke her words in the past, your blog entry is in the past and I think she is focusing too much on the past.
Hey Shannan! This is my first time reading your blog, but I found this post rather interesting. I have to say that anyone who “googles” themself on a regular basis needs to get a life and stop thinking that the world revolves around them and their opinions.