Today I overheard the following conversation while I was at the park. I’m curious as to how you all would have handled the situation.
Here’s what happened:
A Dad arrives at the park with two children. Child #1, we’ll call him Brad, has a skateboard and Child #2, we’ll call him Scott, has a scooter. Scott is older.
Scott takes off on the scooter and Brad starts to whine. Brad has decided he doesn’t want the skateboard, he wants the scooter. Scott tells him to ride the skate board as he (Scott) was the one who picked it to bring to the park, Brad picked he skateboard. (In other words…. tells him tough noogies…)
Brad begins to whine and runs to his Dad. Dad responds, telling Scott to give the scooter to Brad as the scooter belongs to Brad. Scott responds with, “But Dad, I brought it, Brad brought the skateboard.” Dad tells him too bad, it belongs to Brad and that “he needs to give it to him.” Scott complies and Brad takes off on the Scooter. Scott, disappointed, goes off to play on the swings.
So what would you have done? Would you have done what the Dad did, giving the scooter to the son it “belonged too,” or would you have let the son who brought it, keep riding it?
I have to admit that I disagree with the way the Dad handled it. I think the child who brought the toy should have been able to play with it first, with the other child using it once he was done, or after a certain amount of time.
“If I whine long enough, I’ll eventually get my way.”
lol. I guess I am anti-whining. My husband jokes with me because I can tune it out.
Let the kid play with what he brought. I tell my kids (and their friends who pull this in my house) if it’s to precious to share, I’ll but it in the attic where nothing bad can ever happen to it.
I agree, I don’t think the dad handled it right. Unfortunately, the older son is now picking up messages about how whining is ok, and that his younger brother will get his way. That is too bad.
I hate situations like that – it takes all I can to not butt in with my opinion. Ouch!
gudrun: often have to remind SWMBO that “It’s not your child.”
Still, yeah, hard not to laugh or cry.
It was hard to keep my mouth shut. I try to respect other parents and what they feel is the right thing to do. I just kept feeling sorry for the older boy.
That’s a tough one.
I would like to think that my kids would share, but I also think that if you bring it, it’s yours to play with.
i know that this will come up in our lives eventually, thanks for getting me thinking.
“Tough cookies, Kid. You had the chance to choose the scooter at home and you chose the skateboard. IF your brother decides he’s done with it you may use it, but not before.”
Tough love around here.
unrelated, as someone who sees a fair number of children at work, cheers to your boys for staying occupied all that time during our meeting! Also, they were such a delight to talk to about books, birthdays and webkins!
I would have told the younger one tough luck, too. He brought the skateboard, so that’s what he has to play with.
If the older one got tired of using the scooter, then the younger one could use it, but otherwise he’d be reminded to consider his choices better next time.
Yeah, I’m kind of a strict parent.
I can see from a 3rd party view how Dad probably should have handled it better. But I know first hand that on my fiercest mommy needs a break days, that I have asked my older children to cave to my youngest because IjustCan’tTakeAnotherWhiner!
It certainly provides teachable moments though, and this is a great reminder to reflect with my kids and show them where I fall short too. I think it’s very important to for them to see they have flawed human parents sometimes so they don’t feel like they have unattainable standards.
Blessings, Whitney
Yeah, I disagree with the dad.
I probably would have seen this coming before we left the house though, so I would have said the “remember we’re a sharing family” thingy — can you tell I’ve been through this before?
Then if one kid whines we can do the “It’s so-and-so’s turn now, you can have it when he’s done” thing.
Honestly, this has happened to me so many times I know better now. Dad should have known better. And so not the way to handle it. I’m guessing whiney kid was younger?
I think I disagree with the dad – unless there was something else going on that you didn’t know about.
I disagree with the dad in the park.
Wow. I have to agree with you. The Dad should have let the older boyhave the scooter until he was ready to move on to something else.
If we take the situation at face value, I too think the Dad was wrong. I like to play devil’s advocate because often things are not as they appear. For all we know, the boys could have been arguing over the scooter since they left the house, or maybe Scott grabbed the scooter at home and Brad had wanted to bring it all along.
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I disagree with the dad at the park…
I have eight children and have always taught them to share. My oldest children respect each other and ask to borrow one another’s things. My two youngest are still learning to share with each other and their 3 year old niece. When one of the three is playing with a toy that belongs to one of the other children and the “owner of said toy” wants it back I tell them that they have to share, to find something else to play with until the other child is done with it. This works most of the time. On the few occasions when it doesn’t work and a whining session starts I simply tell the child thats whining that if they can’t share then I will have to give the toy to the other child. With my granddaughter it is a little tougher to get her to share because her daddy gives in alot and will tell other children to just give her back her toy so she stops whining. In my house I do not allow this type of behavior so I take a little more time to explain to her that sharing is something that is nice to do and if she shares her things she is being a very nice girl.Our little talks usually resolve the situation and she goes on to find something else to play with.
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